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Literature Text
She met him when the world was new;
when wars were fought in the cosmos
and celestial beings deigned expose
and visit themselves upon the mortals.
In darkness he came to her;
somewhere between fantasy and the real,
disguised as a human, burly and firm
with want of a lover and yearning for release.
She knew him as a man
and he loved her as his wife.
A Titan he had always been
at battle with Olympians
who garnered all of humanity's love
and chose war over peace to keep it.
As lightning struck, thunder roared,
and waves destroyed the earth,
all grew quiet as Olympus rejoiced
and she knew that he had lost.
Zeus then rest upon his shoulders
the weight of the world eternal.
A punishment made more severe
by lack of warmth from her mortal heart.
He carried his punishment made unending
as Earth's coarsened face gouged his back.
The insects and beasts stung and mauled
and the humans warred and burned his flesh.
Still he held the world atop his shoulders
and severed it from the skies' primordial embrace.
Disheartened by his suffering,
she wept for forty nights.
Her tears filled the rifts in the earth
and water rained upon its surface.
A breath of life overcame the deserts
and forests grew green
and his burden softened.
She wept until the grasslands grew
and rivers ran where her tears had poured.
The more she nurtured the Earth,
the more she eased his burden.
As she cleansed the sweat from Atlas' brow
Mother Earth was borne unto the world.
when wars were fought in the cosmos
and celestial beings deigned expose
and visit themselves upon the mortals.
In darkness he came to her;
somewhere between fantasy and the real,
disguised as a human, burly and firm
with want of a lover and yearning for release.
She knew him as a man
and he loved her as his wife.
A Titan he had always been
at battle with Olympians
who garnered all of humanity's love
and chose war over peace to keep it.
As lightning struck, thunder roared,
and waves destroyed the earth,
all grew quiet as Olympus rejoiced
and she knew that he had lost.
Zeus then rest upon his shoulders
the weight of the world eternal.
A punishment made more severe
by lack of warmth from her mortal heart.
He carried his punishment made unending
as Earth's coarsened face gouged his back.
The insects and beasts stung and mauled
and the humans warred and burned his flesh.
Still he held the world atop his shoulders
and severed it from the skies' primordial embrace.
Disheartened by his suffering,
she wept for forty nights.
Her tears filled the rifts in the earth
and water rained upon its surface.
A breath of life overcame the deserts
and forests grew green
and his burden softened.
She wept until the grasslands grew
and rivers ran where her tears had poured.
The more she nurtured the Earth,
the more she eased his burden.
As she cleansed the sweat from Atlas' brow
Mother Earth was borne unto the world.
Literature
Aphrodite
From the very moment my eyes beheld thee,
Full adorned, head to toe, with shells shimmering
Was when the sun and I first rose from the sea
And yet, apparition of time glimmering,
You stepped in the surf and came naked to me;
I, who's darkly ephemeral murmuring
Would by exposure thus mockingly decree,
But it was you became my Aphrodite.
Literature
to icarus
in the next life you were a phoenix
a fiery resurrection
songbird of ash & second chances
when you flew south for the winter,
you made it every time
see for you, the universe was an olympic mountain
jutting out of the ocean, a temple you would never set foot in
an elaborate maze you'd been lost in for too long;
the only love you'd ever known was from the coalfire
of your father's hands in the dark, they were the most angelic
monsters, they were beacons
his mind was the gears of a clock that never stopped spinning
but the light,
the light was a promise to be seen
the fire, a dancing enchanter that never leaves
the future was an echo on t
Literature
eugenics in bulk
By the time she was twelve they had already decided she would marry a man who could run a five minute mile and speak seven languages. They chose her a husband the same way they had chosen her eyes and her legs and the pale freckles that interrupted her nose - the same way their parents had designed their children and arranged their marriages, strategic.
Her father called her petite reine. He owned an antique chess board carved from ebony wood and maple. Some days she'd sneak into the library, pry open the old chequered box and pick out one of the queens, and she'd turn it round and round, searching for imperfections. It was a pla
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MY THIRD DAILY DEVIATION!
I know it's been a long time coming since I actually recieved this DD, but I am still in shock and awe over it. I've always LOVED this piece and am so glad it recieved any sort of recognition, let alone a Daily Deviation.
Special thanks to Moonbeam13 for featuring me, and thank you for either ing, commenting, or reading!
This is my entry for the first round of poetry-book's Scratch That Poetry Tournament. As the rules stated, the participants could write about anything to do with Romance... exceptoverly depressing subject matter.
This piece was greatly inspired by the mythological figures, Atlas & Mother Earth.
In the tournament we were given a pretty loose theme to base our pieces on: Romance. For some reason, I have no idea why, that translated into a love story between the man that supports Earth and the woman who nurtures it. After researching into the birth of Atlas and how he was punished during the wars to hold up the skies (and in some mythologies, the Earth) - I was inspired.
Please let me know what you think. I'd love some feedback on this.
OfOneSoul
, , &
I know it's been a long time coming since I actually recieved this DD, but I am still in shock and awe over it. I've always LOVED this piece and am so glad it recieved any sort of recognition, let alone a Daily Deviation.
Special thanks to Moonbeam13 for featuring me, and thank you for either ing, commenting, or reading!
My second entry into the poetry tournament...
This is my entry for the first round of poetry-book's Scratch That Poetry Tournament. As the rules stated, the participants could write about anything to do with Romance... except
This piece was greatly inspired by the mythological figures, Atlas & Mother Earth.
In the tournament we were given a pretty loose theme to base our pieces on: Romance. For some reason, I have no idea why, that translated into a love story between the man that supports Earth and the woman who nurtures it. After researching into the birth of Atlas and how he was punished during the wars to hold up the skies (and in some mythologies, the Earth) - I was inspired.
Please let me know what you think. I'd love some feedback on this.
OfOneSoul
, , &
© 2012 - 2024 OfOneSoul
Comments83
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I'm not so good with poems, critique-wise. But if 2 years of solid poems taught me something, it's that wording means everything and everything can be deciphered to a deeper meaning. Unfortunately I can not do my list of things to do, for the fact that words mean anything in poems, which really defeats most of my areas. Alas I will try my best
I'd like to start with my views. Comparing to the poems I read from professional writers, this is a level of work that I would've seen in my Anthology. I love it, however this is my opinion, others may sway away from this and that's their loss unfortunately.
To the piece of text in front of me <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="" title=" (Smile)"/> first few lines they speak for themselves. We get imagery, we get history, we get characters, however vague, we get a background.
In darkness he came to her. This, in a metaphorical reference, means that he came out of nowhere, she was blind of his approach, she was ignorant of his existence until he came. With want of a lover and yearning for release. Correct me if I am wrong, but is this depicted for sexual desires? A release is a burst of love that needs to get out quickly. People would have different views here, which is fantastic because people can change their view of the poem. You have manipulated and twisted the wording to your advantage.
I carried on down and noted a lot of sentences that were worth the mention, but I don't want to spam this page with my critique. I aimed for the more impacting area, which was:
-----------------------------
Disheartened by his suffering,
she wept for forty nights.
Her tears filled the rifts in the earth
and water rained upon its surface.
A breath of life overcame the deserts
and forests grew green
-----------------------------
This is beautiful. Not morbidly, since it has areas of negativity, but it's the way worded it and how you portray her feelings. You've shown her power through a minimal amount of words.
The only thing I have a problem with is this sentence here:
What you put: somewhere between fantasy and the real
What I would put somewhere between fantasy and reality
The suffix on fantasy and reality (The suffix being a 'y'), they compliment each other. Read them out loud to yourself; what you put and what I put and then see which one is better. This is a Personal Preference however, so you may choose to deny the change or not.
I have given you 5 stars on all except the originality, purely for the fact that poems that are mythical based and are based on mythology, I've seen before and other poets have done. Do not be disheartened, I always give 4 on critiques because of the creativity and wording some of the authors put in there.
All-in-all, well done indeed!
Matt