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Red sensors rotated and his gears resonated within him.
He could hear the mass silence that echoed endlessly;
no wind wafting through trees or horns blaring…

- only ghosts.

He sensed the crunch of metal and rust grinding
and the clank of disused limbs popping into place.
The mechanics of his body had forgotten basic processes…

- and he felt ancient.

Saved recordings worked through his hard-drive like memories
reminding him of times with oceans of cities, flocks of humans,
and towers so tall he could stand next to them and be called…

- brother.

The lenses of his eyes fluttered and a new world was upon him;
the sun shone so brightly, alloy sweated from his torso
and the sharp sand beneath his feet grated

- and he began to erode.

The Earth was not as he had left it…

- with farms of humans and armies of titans like himself
who worked to save their creators from their own destruction.

He paced the wasteland they had sought to prevent
and wondered..

“Where did we go wrong?”

The vast stillness promptly answered and left him
in painful recognition of their mistake.
He felt the deaths of thousands on his shoulders
and even the titanium he was built of…

- could not hold the weight.

The titan climbed a hill of sand and dust
crushing a mountain of bones beneath his feet.
He faced towards the sun where it lit up
the remnants of the Earth…

- and waited.

His gears slowed and his power stored until his sleep began.
For a thousand years his metal stood and eyes remained vigilant
As he watched for the arrival of a new age

- and a new civilization.
:iconstaredanceplz:

My sixth entry into the poetry tournament...



I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals

I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out of the prison bars
This is it, the apocalypse

- Radioactive by Imagine Dragons


This is my entry for the fifth round of #poetry-book's Scratch That Poetry Tournament. As the rules stated, the participants could write about something fantasy... without including overly depressing subject matter. :giggle:

The theme for this round was Fantasy. Deliciously fun, as alway! :happybounce: In conjecture, however; the piece had to be written as ballad. :eyes:

I have been so inspired lately by all thing apocalyptic. I heard Radioactive on the radio this morning and I was all like... must... write... something. :stare: Lucky for me, I did. :dummy:

Please let me know what you think. I'd love some feedback on this. :tighthug:

:heart: `OfOneSoul

If you liked this poem, be sure to check out MAJESTIC - 01 written by ~blubbityblub. :la:

, , &
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:icongbocco:
I loved how you wrote this piece always in great detail Excellent job. Always got a clear image with your writing. Second of all I loved how you could feel the emotion radiating off the character. I almost felt sorry for him. It was very clear on how the apocalypse affected him, he showed how shocked he was to see Earth like that and sad to see where its come to. But the bright side is that I saw and felt his determination and excitement to find a new better civilization. This poem was perfect in my opinion. It gave suspence on to see if there was going to be another race of people, and you also wonder what happened to cause this. This poem is one of my personal favorites
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconirishtmike:
First off i would like to apologize, this peace of work has been sitting in my inbox for over a week and i have been meaning to read it but i have been lazy. So i love how this is from the point of view of a robot but that has been done before just not like this. To hear the thoughts of a robot and not just to see what he is looking at is great. To be able to feel his decaying body is something that is rare. He is advanced and very human like which must say his creators were intelligent and powerful, even though they destroy themselves. I can see this becoming a book or a continuation of short stories. Its good and i would hate to see this stop where its at.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:icond-e-l-e-t-e-d:
d-e-l-e-t-e-d Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Gorgeous! Amazing! Fantastic!
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Sep 6, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much darling! And thank you for the :+fav:! :huggle:
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:icond-e-l-e-t-e-d:
d-e-l-e-t-e-d Featured By Owner Sep 7, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome!
Reply
:iconezradeacon:
ezradeacon Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there :wave:

Your wonderful work has been featured here. :)
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:iconcamilah:
camilah Featured By Owner Mar 17, 2013
Cool:)
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:icondocteurecrane:
DocteureCrane Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
SO GOOD! This is inspirational! You're doing the apocalypse in the best, least cliché way! GOOD JOB!
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I won't critique this but this is what I thought while reading it:

Brave New World

Aryeon's album "01011001"

the anime "Ghost in the Shell"

and Warhammer 40k
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know the other ones - but I can definitely see the Warhammer 40k reference. :eyes:

My boyfriend is obsessed with 40k - I think that's why he loves this poem so much. :iconteheplz:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:) God bless him, for such good taste *laughing*
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course he has good taste - he got me. :iconteheplz:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well... he doesn't need taste to have you, y'know... seeing you from his shoes, having you is... like flowers of an open plain... you complete him...

To him, you're not an object. You're a genuine blessing. Why else do you two care for each other so much?

*smiles* sorry, w40k turned into this... look, my complements to your boyo for being a pillar of support. To everyone - you, your friends, and to whomever matters. Cheers.
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OMG - Thank you so much for such a lovely, in depth comment. I truly appreciate it, darling! :iconrubcheeksplz:
Reply
:iconmeeoko:
Meeoko Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Student Writer
You're very welcome - I couldn't have said a bad thing about it if I'd wanted to! :P
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:blush:
Reply
:iconthecheshercat:
TheChesherCat Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ooh, I really like this!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, darling! :iconrubcheeksplz:
Reply
:iconkimrimiphantomhive:
kimrimiphantomhive Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is great!!! Lots of detail, I really felt like I was there!!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are too kind, my dear! :iconbrohugplz:
Reply
:iconkimrimiphantomhive:
kimrimiphantomhive Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:happybounce: Does the main character have a name or is this just a one-shot?
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I called him Titan in the poem itself. I felt it befitting considering that he and others of his kind brought around the destruction of the world... and Titans are rather known for doing that. :paranoid:

Other than that (or until I decide otherwise or feel inspired) this is just a one-shot. :shrug:
Reply
:iconkimrimiphantomhive:
kimrimiphantomhive Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Ah okay =D Just wondering :dalove: It's really great!!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, sweetheart. :huggle:
Reply
:iconastro-creep166:
Astro-Creep166 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Dude, I don't have much of an idea what was going on, but that was awesome
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconteheplz: I appreciate the compliment, darling. :heart:
Reply
:iconastro-creep166:
Astro-Creep166 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:iconohstopityouplz:
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, sweetheart! I truly appreciate such an in depth comment. :iconsupertighthugplz:
Reply
:icondevereux-hyde:
Devereux-Hyde Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013
Haha Well, I do try and give a comment that is more useful than "It's cool." After all, isn't that what these comments, nay, this site is all about?!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I totally agree! :iconlawooplz:
Reply
:iconcibian:
Cibian Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Chills...Very nice work. Loved it!!!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You are too kind, my dear! :iconrubcheeksplz: Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconcibian:
Cibian Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:iconaawplz: You are very welcome =D
Reply
:icon7demented:
7Demented Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
:clap: Nice job!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, sweetheart! :iconsupertighthugplz:
Reply
:iconstark-23:
Stark-23 Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Wow!
Thats all I can manage to say after reading the poem.
Its really great!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you for such a lovely comment, darling! :iconsupertighthugplz:
Reply
:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Feb 9, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Omg i wrote something so very similar to this XDDDDD it's awesome, i love how you leave a line and write things like
-only ghosts
It's very powerful. Well done!
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Thank you so much, darling! :heart:

And - I'll admit, I went and looked in your gallery to find the piece you were talking about, and I actually read that! I remember loving it! :huggle: Maybe that's why I felt inclined to call him a titan towards the end. :confused:

In the end, I'm glad you liked it sweetie. It seems we're both interested in the same subject matter. Have you heard that song by Imagine Dragons? You would simply love it. :iconrubcheeksplz:
Reply
:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
OOOH haha inspiration! :D well i'm glad my work helped you along in your story. I have, in fact :D Imagine Dragons is a good band, I like their music haha. Thanks for the watch :iconarmstrongtighthugplz:
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 10, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're so welcome, darling! I meant to do it back when I first read your work. :iconfacepalmplz: And I have yet to listen to their other songs, but my boyfriend (who is obsessed with all things apocalyptic) has me listening to that song nonstop. ^^;
Reply
:iconblubbityblub:
blubbityblub Featured By Owner Feb 11, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Listen to On Top of The World! That's a great song by them xDDD
Reply
:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Featured By Owner Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I definitely shall! Thank you for the suggestion! :heart:
Reply
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