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February 9, 2013
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Red sensors rotated and his gears resonated within him.
He could hear the mass silence that echoed endlessly;
no wind wafting through trees or horns blaring…

- only ghosts.

He sensed the crunch of metal and rust grinding
and the clank of disused limbs popping into place.
The mechanics of his body had forgotten basic processes…

- and he felt ancient.

Saved recordings worked through his hard-drive like memories
reminding him of times with oceans of cities, flocks of humans,
and towers so tall he could stand next to them and be called…

- brother.

The lenses of his eyes fluttered and a new world was upon him;
the sun shone so brightly, alloy sweated from his torso
and the sharp sand beneath his feet grated

- and he began to erode.

The Earth was not as he had left it…

- with farms of humans and armies of titans like himself
who worked to save their creators from their own destruction.

He paced the wasteland they had sought to prevent
and wondered..

“Where did we go wrong?”

The vast stillness promptly answered and left him
in painful recognition of their mistake.
He felt the deaths of thousands on his shoulders
and even the titanium he was built of…

- could not hold the weight.

The titan climbed a hill of sand and dust
crushing a mountain of bones beneath his feet.
He faced towards the sun where it lit up
the remnants of the Earth…

- and waited.

His gears slowed and his power stored until his sleep began.
For a thousand years his metal stood and eyes remained vigilant
As he watched for the arrival of a new age

- and a new civilization.
:iconstaredanceplz:

My sixth entry into the poetry tournament...



I'm waking up to ash and dust
I wipe my brow and I sweat my rust
I'm breathing in the chemicals

I'm breaking in, shaping up, then checking out of the prison bars
This is it, the apocalypse

- Radioactive by Imagine Dragons


This is my entry for the fifth round of #poetry-book's Scratch That Poetry Tournament. As the rules stated, the participants could write about something fantasy... without including overly depressing subject matter. :giggle:

The theme for this round was Fantasy. Deliciously fun, as alway! :happybounce: In conjecture, however; the piece had to be written as ballad. :eyes:

I have been so inspired lately by all thing apocalyptic. I heard Radioactive on the radio this morning and I was all like... must... write... something. :stare: Lucky for me, I did. :dummy:

Please let me know what you think. I'd love some feedback on this. :tighthug:

:heart: `OfOneSoul

If you liked this poem, be sure to check out MAJESTIC - 01 written by ~blubbityblub. :la:

, , &
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:icongbocco:
I loved how you wrote this piece always in great detail Excellent job. Always got a clear image with your writing. Second of all I loved how you could feel the emotion radiating off the character. I almost felt sorry for him. It was very clear on how the apocalypse affected him, he showed how shocked he was to see Earth like that and sad to see where its come to. But the bright side is that I saw and felt his determination and excitement to find a new better civilization. This poem was perfect in my opinion. It gave suspence on to see if there was going to be another race of people, and you also wonder what happened to cause this. This poem is one of my personal favorites
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
4 out of 4 deviants thought this was fair.

:iconirishtmike:
First off i would like to apologize, this peace of work has been sitting in my inbox for over a week and i have been meaning to read it but i have been lazy. So i love how this is from the point of view of a robot but that has been done before just not like this. To hear the thoughts of a robot and not just to see what he is looking at is great. To be able to feel his decaying body is something that is rare. He is advanced and very human like which must say his creators were intelligent and powerful, even though they destroy themselves. I can see this becoming a book or a continuation of short stories. Its good and i would hate to see this stop where its at.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
2 out of 2 deviants thought this was fair.

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:iconezradeacon:
ezradeacon Aug 3, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Hi there :wave:

Your wonderful work has been featured here. :)
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:iconthatfunnierpiece:
ThatFunnierPiece Feb 22, 2013
I'm suprised how human it is, and yet how alien his approach to apocalypse - his fault, too, after all - is. What I see is that he doesn't grieve anything, because there is no point. He waits, as it's rational to. And now I can't help but imagine your story expanded into an idea of creating the new, fully rational human gone horribly wrong because of something. What a catalyst of imagination this piece is.
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:icondocteurecrane:
DocteureCrane Feb 20, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
SO GOOD! This is inspirational! You're doing the apocalypse in the best, least cliché way! GOOD JOB!
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I won't critique this but this is what I thought while reading it:

Brave New World

Aryeon's album "01011001"

the anime "Ghost in the Shell"

and Warhammer 40k
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Feb 14, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
I don't know the other ones - but I can definitely see the Warhammer 40k reference. :eyes:

My boyfriend is obsessed with 40k - I think that's why he loves this poem so much. :iconteheplz:
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:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
:) God bless him, for such good taste *laughing*
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:iconofonesoul:
OfOneSoul Feb 15, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Of course he has good taste - he got me. :iconteheplz:
Reply
:iconshehrozeameen:
shehrozeameen Feb 16, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
Well... he doesn't need taste to have you, y'know... seeing you from his shoes, having you is... like flowers of an open plain... you complete him...

To him, you're not an object. You're a genuine blessing. Why else do you two care for each other so much?

*smiles* sorry, w40k turned into this... look, my complements to your boyo for being a pillar of support. To everyone - you, your friends, and to whomever matters. Cheers.
Reply
:iconmeeoko:
Meeoko Feb 11, 2013  Student Writer
This is such a beautifully written piece! You absolutely deserve to win that contest!

Usually I'm fairly unresponsive to poetry, but the vividness of the imagery really caught me, particularly as I'm familiar with the song and absolutely love it. Because I know the content of the song, I could really see the mood and assosciative emotions you were trying to convey on such a broad subject.

This is incredibly hard to do when the subject in question is a machine and as such, should be incapable of feeling or emotion, but you've portrayed it beautifully. The comparison to the robot's physical response in place of emotional was flawless and it conveyed so much whilst saying so little.
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